Skimming through this blog for the first time in a long, long while, I find myself amused at how many times I promised to kick my lazy arse into shape and maintain this blog properly. It even worked, on occasion, for about a week or two, though I quickly slipped back into my old habits of inconsistent, hurried and half-hearted updates. Ironically, though, it has been about two months since my last post - one where I promised to post more regularly, of course.
As you no doubt know (or can swiftly deduce regardless), that didn't really happen. There are a number of things I could blame for that, but it really just comes down to StarCraft. Basically, it suddenly became insansely fun for me. Like, really, really fun. I fell in love with laddering; spending hours on end playing game after game with the aim of hitting that spot in the Top 8 of Platinum League, advancing to Diamond, and getting indefinitely better because of the effort I was putting in.
I think one of the things which makes StarCraft so attractive is that there is a direct correlation between effort and reward, or, said in non-douche, it is easy to see the results of the work you put in. I played a lot of StarCraft, saw myself improving, and hungered for more improvement, so I kept playing.
Recently, though, I hit a slump. I started losing more than I was winning, and against opponents I knew I should be beating - my hands just weren't doing what my mind wanted them to. Laddering (playing games of StarCraft) became significantly less enjoyable because of this - 'this' not being losing (I always go on about how important it is to enjoy the game regardless of whether you win or lose), but being not playing at the capacity I knew I could - not fulfilling my potential.
Thus, I decided that it was time for one of my famous StarCraft Holidays. Fine, perhaps they aren't that famous (or even famous at all), but 'one of my ordinary StarCraft Holidays' doesn't sound nearly as epic, does it?
As you can probably infer, a StarCraft Holiday is a time where I don't play, you guessed it, StarCraft. I put my time into other games, or even occupations entirely separate from gaming, and get my mind off the game for a bit, so that I can come back after a week or so with a new perspective, feeling fresh and rejuvenated, ready to ladder and improve.
It was during this time off from StarCraft that I forced myself to sit down and think seriously about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to achieve with my love of StarCraft - casting or commentating? progaming? As in pro-gaming, by the way, not programming.
Going pro is all but out of the picture, as I simply am not prepared to devote so much of my time and effort into such a competitive sphere, especially when all of my effort goes into something I can't really make a long-term career out of. I don't have a competitive enough mindset. I don't want to put myself under the kind of stress pro's have to endure and, most importantly, I can't see myself putting 11 hours a day, seven days a week into StarCraft for years on end. I love the game, I really do, but there is so much besides it that I want to experience and do in the world.
Casting is more of an option - I'm a decent, relatively charismatic speaker and I think I would make a not-too-shabby caster. In fact, my main metagame-man, Greg 'Grack' Muller and I had the great privilege of casting the finals of a StarCraft Tournament held by Organised Chaos (a monthly LAN attracting around 1000 people, which takes place in Cape Town) this December. It was a truly memorable experience, one which I really enjoyed and would love to have the opportunity to repeat, but I can't help but feel that while there is a call for casters, it is one which I simply cannot practically answer. Streaming casts is completely out of the question - the price of South African internet dictates that I simply would not be able to support a stream at all, let alone one of high quality. This does leave Youtube, though I wouldn't fancy my chances given how saturated it is with content I would have to compete with. Even if, however, I did manage to make it on Youtube, I couldn't take my casting any further - I'm in school for another two years, and then there's the question of further studies at university - I wouldn't be in a position where I could attend events in Europe and North America to cast anyway. Betting university education against the off chance of being discovered as a caster doesn't sound like such a great idea, either.
So, with this analysis in mind, I found myself asking the following: "Why devote my life to a career with very little follow-up, or try to compete as a nobody in an oversaturated market?"
The answer is a simple one - there are no good reasons. The answer to the follow-up question, that of what I should try and do in eSports, is the reason I am here.
In terms of comparative advantage (what I am better than myself at), the answer has been obvious from the start - I've always been better at writing than metagame knowledge or general StarCraft ability, so I figure that the stupidest thing I could possibly do in my situation is spend hours every day developing a skill I'm never actually going to use, when that time could have been potentially spent on improving my writing.
Writing is great for me for a number of reasons - firstly, the world of eSports needs writers a lot more than they need commentators or players, and I believe that, especially if I start kicking the amount of time I put into writing into overdrive, I could actually be competitive in that market. Moreover, writing is not exclusive to eSports - all of the hours I've (hypothetically) put into writing about eSports have made me a better writer more than anything else - all I would need to write in another sphere is knowledge (which can be quickly gained), or I could just write a book. Lastly, I love writing, and now that I've actually articulated all of the reasons why I should spend time trying to improve myself as a writer, spending the rest of the day writing feels not only like the most logical course of action, but also the most awesome one.
So, if there was any tangible contribution to the eSports community I could make, I think it would be through my writing, and this blog (as well as eGamer, of course), is where it starts. The huge mistake I made in my previous attempts at writing here is that I tried to appeal to or please other people with what I wrote, meaning that my writing was not only inefficient, but tedious and it really amounted to nothing more than a chore. What I realise now is that this blog (just like any other medium in which you develop a skill) is the same as the StarCraft ladder... well, perhaps there are one or two pretty distinct differences, but go with me on this:
Just like the budding StarCraft player must, at the core of it all, play a butt-tonne of games, I, as the budding writer (or you, as the budding photographer) must write a butt-tonne of articles (or take a butt-tonne of pictures). So, this is my ladder-blog. My goal here is ultimately to improve my writing through two methods: writing a lot (mainly about StarCraft, but with a bit of everything as well) and getting feedback and criticism on what I write.
So, with that in mind I encourage you to check back at this page regularly, and spam my Twitter (@TydVirTaal) if you don't see anything new (for the good of eSports, of course), and also to please, please (please) tell me what you think I can improve in my writing.
Duncan 'TydVirTaal' Hobbs
Out
